


New friend (or whatever)

by Irilan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Trans Male Character, its kind of short and kind of lame bear with me, not really a relationship but there are hints, some swearing also
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 17:20:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4188372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irilan/pseuds/Irilan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shouyou woke up feeling inexplicably dysphoric this morning and it only gets worse when he runs into some old friends from elementary school and they misgender him. From that point on, his day is basically a shit ton of shit – that is, until he enters the sport shop in town and makes a new friend – or whatever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New friend (or whatever)

**Author's Note:**

> i guess i felt inspired by this headcanon that hinata is trans and i wanted to try. English's not my first language so bear with me. Also i worked by personal experience and there is dysphoria in this so if you don't feel like it don't read it, i don't want to make anyone feel bad.  
> Hinata's birth name means brilliant red and i thought it was funny cause he's a redhead. yea.  
> probably ooc. i suck.

It was one of these days.  
He had woken up, turned around and felt his chest (his unwanted extra flesh of a chest) pressing into the mattress. Immediately, his face had fallen into a frown and he had felt like a cloud had formed right above his head.  
On those days, he felt like staying in bed, calling in sick and not moving, or perhaps just turn on his PlayStation and play Halo for hours on end.  
But he had school and dysphoria sadly wasn't enough of an excuse to skip it. So after his mom called for the third time, threatening to come up and drag him out of bed, he reluctantly stood and made his way to the bathroom.  
But as soon as he entered, his bladder made itself known and he made a bee line to the toilet. In front of which he abruptly stopped, glaring at the toilet seat. With an angry groan, he pulled down his shorts and sat, burrowing his head in his hands.  
After he finished his business, he began undressing, pointedly not looking in the mirror or down at his body. The cold air made the hair on his arms and legs stand up and he quickly got into the shower. Once he was inside, he closed the curtain and then shut his eyes as he always did when showering. Breathing a sigh of relief when he found himself surrounded only by darkness, he turned the water on.  
It came out freezing.  
He cursed loudly and stepped away from the cold water, slipping on the wet tiles, eyes still shut tight and grabbed for the nearest thing to regain his footing. His hands grasped at the curtain but his body weight was too much for the frail piece of fabric and with a loud thud he fell, dislodging the curtain.  
As pain erupted on his left side and knee, he heard his mother yelling. 

"Shouyou, are you okay?!" 

"I'm fine!" he yelled back, kneeling. He opened his eyes to glance at his left knee and saw he had only a light scrap. He sighted and patted his ribs, wincing slightly. That was gonna bruise.  
He frowned and finished showering, his sour mood not lightening. 

~

When he finally got down, fully dressed and hair still damp from the shower, his mother was already at the door. 

"Ah, Shouyou, I gotta go! Are you okay? I heard a noise..."

"I'm fine," he waved his hand as if to get rid of a particularly annoying fly and sat at the kitchen table. 

"Okay. Have a nice day, sweetie." 

He didn't reply and she simply left, living a trail of perfume behind. Shouyou stared at the cereals in front of him and felt his stomach tighten. Sighing, he got up and prepared to leave for school, his appetite gone. 

~

School was, as usual, boring.  
He didn't have many friends apart from the ones from the volleyball club, and they were in other classes or older than him, so he sat alone throughout his lectures. At lunch, he was supposed to meet up with Noya, his senpai and friend from the volleyball club, but he had a test coming and had to study. So Shouyou got on the roof and ate his bento, looking at the other students down in the schoolyard.  
The only highlight of the day was volleyball practice, which took place after school. He was looking forward to it, yearning for something to help take his mind off the dark thoughts haunting him.  
He should have known, given how his day had started, that he was on for a bad surprise.  
As soon as he stepped onto the court, he felt himself relax, muscles he hadn't realized were tense coming loose. He breathed in the scent of sweat, linoleum floor and old leather balls, and felt a smile stretching his lips. 

"Oy, Hinata!"

He turned in the direction of the voice and lit up when Sugawara, an older player, came toward him from the changing room. 

"Hi!" he excitedly replied. 

The other came to a stop, a soft and apologetic smile on his face. 

"You haven't heard? Practice is cancelled. Noya and Asahi couldn't make it and Daichi also had to study. I just came to do the inventory." 

Shouyou felt himself frown and his left hand tightened into a fist. 

"I didn't know..." he was uncharacteristically quiet, his usually fiery temper extinguished by the stream of bad news and general shit that he had experienced throughout the day. 

Sugawara frowned, looking worried. "Are you okay? You seem a bit down."

He tried to smile, knowing it looked fake and turned, waving toward his senpai. 

"Yeah, I'm just gonna go home so I can rest and be in top form tomorrow!" 

Not waiting for a reply, he left the gym, balancing his backpack on his right shoulder. His blood was boiling in his veins and he practically charged toward his bike, jumping on it and sprinting out of the school grounds.  
Once the school was far behind, he slowed his pace and sat back, lifting his face to look at the sky. The sun was still up and he didn't feel like going home yet. Without much thought, he decided he would turn this bad news into an opportunity to buy new knee pads and so he turned right instead of left, heading to the city center. 

~

He parked his bike and secured the lock, breathing in the scent of the late afternoon and listening to the soft sound of the autumn leaves brushing on the pavement.  
Straightening his backpack, he whistled a quiet tune, feeling his mood lighten just thinking about the new equipment he was gonna buy.  
He waited for the stoplights to turn green and was crossing the street when a loud voice came behind him, making his blood freeze and his heart hammer in his chest. 

"Oy, Akame!" 

His eyes the size of a plate, he frantically turned his head, searching.  
There, on the street, were a girl and a boy, waving and smiling toward him. 

"Akame! Do you recognize us?" asked the girl, jogging toward him. "We barely recognized you, you've changed so much! Where have your super long curls gone?! They were so beautiful!" 

Shouyou couldn't speak. It was as if his brain had stopped working all of a sudden. His mouth opened and closed while his hands shot up, gripping the straps of his backpack as if to anchor him and keep him from running away. 

"Of course she recognizes us, she's just too shocked, right, Aka-chan?" laughed the boy. 

He did know these people. They were classmates from his old elementary school, a time of his life he absolutely didn't want to remember.  
He gulped. How on earth was he gonna escape this hella awkward situation!?  
The girl frowned and reached out to him, squeezing his arm. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Ah!" he quickly adverted her eyes and attempted a smile. "Y...Yeah, I was just lost for a sec." 

They laughed and smiled and said something but he didn't pay attention, too busy feeling awkward and out of place and super fucking dysphoric.  
How did they recognized him? Had he not change at all, was he still the same? Suddenly he became hyper aware of his small stature, his fragile frame, his too long eyelashes, his slender fingers and it was too much, he squeezed his eyes shut and interrupted them loudly. 

"I...I'm sorry, I have to run an errand! Nice seeing you again!" 

And he took off, more aware than ever of his binder and of the nervous sweat making it stick uncomfortably to his back. He practically ran off, turning the corner and almost falling in his haste.  
It was only when he stopped, heart racing like crazy and breath coming short, that he realized his eyes were burning with tears. He sniffed, rubbing at them with the back of his hand, feeling shame and helplessness coiling in his belly.  
Leaning on the wall, he forced himself to breathe, willing his heartbeat to calm down. He pushed away all thoughts of his youth, his mocking classmates, the bullies, the feeling of not fitting anywhere, not being himself, and tried to remember his mother's face, smiling at him and calling him Shouyou. He closed his eyes and pictured his little sister Natsu yelling "Big brother, come play with me!", holding a volley ball. He felt his uneasiness diminishing slightly but there was still a lingering restlessness in his chest. Huffing he pushed himself off the wall and decided to just go buy his knee pads and return home to hide under his blankets for the rest of the evening. 

~

He felt more at ease when the automatic doors opened and the scent of leather and polishing products entered his nostrils. He went straight to the back, knowing his way by heart toward the volleyball area.  
No one was there and he felt relieved. The alley displayed equipment, cold sprays, bandages, wrist bands and – a smile stretched his lips – knee pads!  
He hurried and took a pack, turning it in his hands to read about the texture. Black cotton, flat style design. Shouyou quietly hummed. 

"Seems good" he muttered. 

"Oy, get out of the way." 

He turned at the voice, a scowl on his face, and was met with dark blue eyes that glared at him, making him shiver. He ignored his initial impression and held his chin. 

"The hell!? Have you heard of courtesy, bastard!?" 

The other boy, who seemed about his age though he was noticeably taller, smirked at him, making Shouyou furrow his eyebrows. 

"Oh? You're the one standing in my way and calling me a bastard." 

"I was just picking new knee pads!" he blurted, feeling his cheeks redden. 

The other's eyes flicked downwards to his hands, clasped around the knee pads and he lifted his eyebrows. 

"I can see that. Now could you stop blushing like some highschool girl and move aside, I'm busy." 

Shouyou felt anger boiling in his stomach at the words and took a step forward, hands tightening their grasp around the knee pads, nearly crushing them. 

"I'm a fucking boy!" he snapped, finally lashing out his emotions. 

He was so, so tired of being misgendered.  
The other lifted a brow and cocked his head to the side. 

"Do you think I'm blind? I can see that too. Now could you move, this is heavy." 

"Eh?" 

Not expecting the other to simply agree, he stilled and saw the box the other boy was holding. 

"Oh. Yeah, right. I'll just..." he fumbled with his words and took a step to the side, eyes wide. 

"Right." 

He walked past him, brushing his arm against Shouyou's shoulder and the redhead watched him make his way toward the end of the alley, putting the box down and opening it with a Swiss knife.  
He felt a strange feeling in his chest, like his emotions were settling down. Perhaps it was because the other hadn't misgendered him, or because he was so casual about it. He didn't know and shrugging, he resumed his previous activities.  
The pack he was holding was crushed and he felt a tingle of shame; realizing he had snapped so easily. Nonetheless, he continued reading the description of the product. On second thought, he didn't think these were adequate. 

"You should take an other pack." 

He raised his gaze and saw the other guy, who was not looking at him, quickly putting equipment on the shelves. 

"What'd you say?" 

This time, the guy turned his gaze toward him, the intensity of it making Shouyou weirdly fidgety. 

"I said, take an other pack. These knee pads are no good for you." 

"Ah? And how do you know that?" Shouyou cockily replied, clutching the pack he was ready to put back not even a minute ago against his chest.  
He swore he could see a vein pulse angrily on the other boy's temple. 

"I work here, dumbass. It's my job to know these things and if you were a real player, you'd know better than to buy crap like that." 

"What did you say, bastard!" he nearly screamed, seeing red. He saw the other smirk and it spurred him forward until he was face to face with the arrogant prick. 

"Again with the 'bastard'. I can assure you I know both of my parents." 

Shouyou stilled, the comment hitting too close from home. He had never known his father, his mother never willing to speak about him.  
He took a step back and turned on his heels. 

"Whatever. Just let me do my shopping in peace." 

He was met by silence and it suited him just fine. Maybe the stranger had weirdly intense eyes but his personality was a total turn off.  
Not even a minute passed by when he heard quiet steps and then a hand reached across him, grabbing a pack of black bubble style spandex knee pads. 

"Here." 

He frowned and turned around. 

"I didn't ask for your help." 

The angry pulsing vein was back. 

"Just take it, okay?" 

Reluctantly, Shouyou reached for it. He inspected the equipment closely and felt annoyed when he had to admit these would suit him better given his tendency to carelessly jump – and sometimes fall afterwards. 

"What are you?" 

The question made his heart thump loudly. What did he mean? 

"I said it before, I'm a boy," he grumbled. 

The other made an 'ehh?' sound and crossed his arms. 

"Would you stop saying it? I know that, dumbass! I meant what position do you play!?" 

"Oh." 

He felt unbelievably embarrassed and had to resist the urge to face palm. Sometimes his own insecurities made him do stupid things. 

"I'm a spiker." 

He wasn't expecting the other to start laughing. Frowning he gritted his teeth and waited for the other to finish. Absentmindedly he noted the other had a nice laugh, peculiar and a bit off-sounding but overall nice. 

"You're kidding, right?" the other had to take a step back, a smile still lifting the corners of his mouth. 

"Why would I be?" frowned Shouyou, crossing his arms. "I'm a spiker! I may be short, but I can jump!" 

As to prove his point, he gathered his strength and bent his legs, took a deep breath and released the tension in his legs, soaring high, high until he could see the top of the shelves and the alleys beyond. 

"What are you doing, dumbass, you'll get thrown out!" hissed the other. Shouyou just smiled. Jumping always made him feel light headed. 

"Though that was quiet high," mused the other. 

The redhead felt his cheeks redden once again at the half spoken compliment and turned his head, pouting. 

"Yeah." 

From the corner of his eye, he saw the other smile smugly and directed a glare in his direction. 

"So, you're going to take these?" 

He glanced at the pack he was holding and sighed. 

"I guess." 

"Good." 

There was a short moment of silence and Shouyou felt like fidgeting, sensing the other's gaze upon him.  
He was about to say something along the lines of 'Would you like to play volleyball with me?' or something equally embarrassing, when the other spoke up. 

"I'm Kageyama Tobio." 

"Cool," he replied without thinking.

The other fixed him with an unimpressed look and he blushed again, feeling the embarrassment eating him whole and making him wish he had a hole to hide into. 

"I...I mean, I'm Hinata Shouyou." 

The boy – Kageyama – nodded and looked to the side, suddenly shy. 

"Would you...would you like to play with me sometimes?" he threw a glance at Shouyou and must have interpreted his expression as questioning or something because he hurriedly added : "You seem good! I just...It's been a long time since anyone's played volleyball with me." 

For some reason, Shouyou felt saddened by the statement. He couldn't imagine a world where volleyball wasn't a daily part of his life. 

He nodded, a small smile on his lips. "Okay." 

Kageyama seemed relieved. "Good." 

They stayed like that for a moment and Hinata felt something bubbling up his chest, making its way toward his throat and he was a bit afraid it would skip out of his mouth, something warm and happy and he wasn't exactly sure what it was so he just extended his hand for Kageyama to shake and offered him a smile. 

"Let's play together sometime." 

The shittiness of the past day seemed far, far away, worries and dysphoria and uneasiness forgotten when Kageyama smiled and shook his hand. 

"Okay."

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed, this ending still feels too cheesy to me. I may be turning this into a mini series sort of thing if i feel like it. we'll see.


End file.
